Hello all, it's almost 1.30am now and I am about to sleep soon.

I'm not sure why, but I got pretty moody today, is it because of her, of all the imagination that I can have happiness with her, that will eventually lead to nothing but despair once I wake up. Guessing it is.

I thought I was over the quarter life crisis, but it feels like it's lingering somewhere, and I had the whole night to re-experience it again. Why is life so meaningless ?

Sometimes, I yearn to see her, but luckily, I am still capable of constantly reminding myself, that people like me, do not deserve happiness, I should rot and die alone, without bothering others.

I have been thinking about planning my own funeral, pay the fees, get everything ready, so I wouldn't be a hassle, even after life.

"If you can choose to be taller or prettier, which will you choose, pick wisely."

Of course, get the height, you're pretty already, to me at least.

Good night.