And I will keep walking till the day I die.
Friday, 7 September 2018
Hello everyone,
Can't believe my blog is still alive and ki.... Maybe not kicking anymore, but it's still there, remembered it was created a long while ago with my friend's help to do up the html and design.
How is everyone lately, is anyone else experiencing the "quarter" life crisis ?
I think I am having one, or, experiencing some of it, I feel like it's happening on me, I am quite sick of my life, what am I working for, everyday is just a dread that is happening over and over again, I just want to sleep, as somehow, I am always tired.
For now, I want to use this as a form of online dairy, like security through obscurity, hopefully no one that I know has the knowledge of this blog.
Life is very mundane ever since I have started work, I always thought it was because I got rejected by a lady and was in the phase of sadness by rejection. It has been a year now, but why do I still feel like this, all I do is work, sleep, work, sleep, work sleep, repeat. I am trying to "spice" things up in life, currently attempting to train for a marathon, forcing myself to go for a run no matter how tired or late I get back from work. I'm gaining weight too, which is a bad thing, pants are tearing, shirts are bulging, what a horrendous sight.
Is love out there for everyone ? I certainly think it isn't for me, or hopefully there isn't for me, I don't want to go through those roller coaster of feelings in 2017 again, I'm tired ...
It's great to see family and friends getting married, planning for their future, move on to different phases of life, and it's such an envy to see people in love, and before you say I should go out there to find one, I think I am done. I doubt there will be any of it out there, even if there is, I shall not pursue.
The word love, has brought me joy, some form of anxiety, sadness, jealousy, and many other feelings.
But so far, every single time, ok la, 2 times only, I always wished I had not made a move, at least I can live in denial I had a chance, even till now, there are single ladies out there and I shun them, getting away quickly before any stupid thoughts and feelings developed.
How I wish I can fast forward my life, to the day where I retire, with enough money to live till I die, and just sip kopi in the morning with some good pals, and talk about what we have been through, and laugh at the stupid things we have done.
Just to let you all know, I remembered all the times I have been through with my friends, from the primary school days, till polytechnic, and even now, the working days.
See ya everyone.
I am gonna go sleep now, see you all again, hopefully ...
