And I will keep walking till the day I die.
Monday, 21 May 2012
Hello peoples
It's Monday again
It will also be her last day at expo
Guess i won't be having the chance to see her again
Spend about an hour editing photos
Trying to be as precise as i can
Printed out the photos
But end up it wasn't as sharp as the ones of the poloroid
Looks like i have to find someone who has a laser printer
Or maybe go back to NYP print the photos
The are photos of her
I want to change my wallet poloroid photo to her
So when i go in for NS, i would at least still have a picture of her
Damn, it's so torturing to love someone
But can't do anything but just watch
Was watching a drama and i saw this line
"Find out who he is, and crush him"
Ha, but would that be easy ?
Or would that be appropriate ?
Like some loser doing whatever it takes
Or maybe that's why love is selfish
But man
Only 4 months left
Probably should just keep working
And get busy so she can be off my mind
But everytime there's a break
Somehow i will just stare into the space and think of her
Wishing everyday i could be together with her
Wish she was reading this
Or maybe not, either way it will suck
I love you, goodnight
Saturday, 19 May 2012
"Most of us experience the pangs of unreturned affection at some point in our lives. But for some folk, unrequited love becomes obsessive; they come to feel that they can become complete and fulfilled only through union with the object of their longings."
Got this message from Jovin
Guess it's right
But i don't think it will ever be completed and fulfiilled
There's only hope, but it seems to be vanishing
Now, i can just hope she and her bf will be doing well
I'm getting tired
Getting more tired everyday
My appetite is losing, bit by bit
Now i can't even finish any meals properly
Is it because of her ? Or my work environment
Friends are already noticing something is wrong
But i don't know what's wrong
Or i choose to live with it
"Don't give up the forest for a tree"
"Learn to let go"
"Move on"
I'm trying, or maybe not
8 years of you in my mind
Will it be that easy ?
I guess not, but still, there's nothing I can do
"Liking someone is tough"
"In a relationship is also tough"
One of my friends told me these today
But i only see all the love and fun when they go out
Tried doing exercise, went for a long run
But still didn't make any difference
Other then making my calf scream when i take a step
Went to nap awhile and had my dinner
I couldn't finish, not even half of it
And i have no appetite
I won't be letting go i guess
I will just wait, wait and wait
Even if the wait is meaningless and pointless
Somehow the waiting just gives me that glimpse of hope
I don't even dare to contact you
Fearing i maybe an annoyance to you
All the SMS i got is rejection
Be it a friendly outing or a date
Soon, soon it will be time for my enlistment
Can i take a photo of you and bring it into my camp ?
Whenever i see your smiling face
It just makes me happy for the rest of the day
Alright, i will end here
Treating this blog as a dairy
Blabbering all my heartfelt words
Goodnight everyone
Will always love you
Friday, 18 May 2012
Hello guys,
Writing a dairy again.
Today's work was tiring, didn't know spraying paint was such a tough job
The tough part is not the spraying
Is the part whereby the thinner get backs at you
Will "high" and get all dirty
Was having jelly legs after the job
All was good, after work, went to expo
To chit chat with pals
Didn't expect to see her there again.
So much thoughts in my mind that i want to share with her
But i guess she made it clear it was a NO
How i wish it would be easy to let go
But is it possible ? To let go someone you love since primary 6 ?
I don't think it will be easy, but i will try
Since i have 2 years in army
But 8 years of holding on, will need someone to guide me out
Or can i just enter your friendzoned ?
Most guys will think that's stupid, but i'm happy even to be just a friend
To be there to help you with whatever i can
To be there to share your thoughts
Have been frantically trying to find the old photos
The photos of once we were together
The few months of relationship was the happiest moment of my life
But i guess it will be in the past
Somehow, i do hope i can spend the rest of my life with you
Its an imaginary relationship that is so perfect
Because i only think of the happy stuff we can do
Alright, i'm going off, still have work tomorrow
Hope i will get busy and temporary forget about you
Mindset: "Fk it, do only, even if it will cost my life"
Thursday, 17 May 2012
Hello everyone, trying to go back to blogging
Really need something or someone to listen to my bullshit
Was giving myself a chance and thinking about it
If i succeed, i will have something to hold back
Hence, i will not go all in during my NS to be a diver
If i fail, i will have nothing to hold back
And i will go all out for my NS, even if my life is at stake
Was thinking
Since my life is pretty screwed, and i'm not very good with people
Even after my NS i might be doing a 2k job per month
But with Singapore's inflation, 2k is probably enough
Enough to pay for your food and medical fees
And by doing some calculation
You will probably earn 1 million in your whole life
What can you do with 1 million in your whole life ?
Probably nothing, just work your ass off daily
And try to make ends meet
Therefore, if i'm able to succeed in NS
I will probably sign on
Sign till i die
But for now, i still have 4 more months before going in
Really wish they could bring forward the enlistment date
Rather then me thinking about how life sucks
4 months ...
Working in a manufacturing company
Where they make steels and etc
Hostile enviroment
Busy place
Tough work
But yea, it's ok for me, sometimes busy is an advantage
It keeps my mind off you
I have to concentrate during work, or i will get injured
Although there are many moments i was thinking of you
and
BAM !!
1 cut on my arms
Abit of bleeding, and back to work
Really missing you ever since
But i probably know it would be impossible for us again
All my own wishful thinking
Alright, it's 5am now and i have to work at 9am.
Probably try to get some sleep
Can't afford to doze off during work and who knows
My fingers might be gone
Just kidding, they have safety gloves
But injury is inevitable.
Current mindset: "Fk it, do only, even if it will cost my life"
Goodnight readers, or maybe there won't even be anyone reading.
